The Sebastian Flyte/Lighthope Letters!

Give or take a bit of kinky girl action (which I must do more of some time - hey, it got Steve Moffat to where he is today, so don't knock it), this blog has been split more or less evenly between the demented insanity of Ben Chatham and the introverted delusions of Everlasting Films/DWADs.

After having the Season Four Pitch inflicted on us, we decided to make someone else suffer. After all, an arrogant, talentless homophobic twat is perfect fodder for the DWADs, considering they've had companions ranging from a recast Sarah Jane Smith to a deaf mute...

We sent off the giant rat two parter, confident that the homosexual date rapes, giant otters and infanticide would make a great audio. After changing Donna's name to Moira, we sent off the unchanged synopsis...

This is their reply

Sebastian,
Greetings. Please forgive the delay in
replying.
The Rats of Tenbury - by Sebastian Flyte
Thank you for your interest in our production of The
Doctor Who Audio Dramas.
After careful consideration of your story, we feel that
it does not meet our needs.
Thank you again for your interest.
In Jesus,
Lighthope

...which actually turned out to be twice as disturbing a reaction than expected.

But it lacked the ferocious disgust that, it seems, only JNT or RTD could provide. So we tried again, deciding on the brutal UNIT/Silurian slaughter, and again changed only Donna to Moira and left Ben in the story. Surely this would get some kind of reaction?

Sebastian,
Greetings.
Thank you for your interest in our production of
The Doctor Who Audio Dramas.
After careful consideration of your story, we
find that we are not able to use it. According to the writer's guide, you
may not use reoccurring monsters such as the Silurians and Sea
Devils.
Thank you again for your
interest.
In Jesus,
Lighthope

Not exactly the reaction we were hoping for. I mean, that's it? Out of all the pointless genocide, rural stereotypes and mindless plot turns... they chucked it because the monsters were Silurians? Despite the fact they didn't even act like Silurians?!

This was serious, so we sent him Cavaliers. This time, we didn't even change Donna to Moira and left it intact.

Surely this would be the straw that gave the dromedary osteoperosis?

Sebastian,
Greetings.
CAVALIERS - by Sebastian Flyte
Thank you for your interest in our production of The Doctor Who Audio
Dramas.
You have an interesting story that is slightly reminiscent of both King's Demons and a recent DW story who's name escapes me at the moment.
Unfortunately, we feel this story isn't quite what we're looking for at the moment.
However, like I said it was an interesting idea. If you would like to make another submission, we would be honoured to consider it.
In Jesus,
Lighthope

Now, we're thinking: shit, this could get out of hand.

We sent out the final salvo, all we had left. And we said Big Finish were interested.

The reply we got was even more disturbing.

Sebastian,
Greetings.
Thank you for your interest in our production of
The Doctor Who Audio Dramas.
ACORN MAN - by Sebastian Flyte
I have to admit that this is something of a surreal story. I do like these kinds of stories as they lend themselves to be real creepy.

All around the room are books on the occult. The Doctor recognises Gabriel Decavenar, the UK’s leading black magician. In his dead hand are three acorns and a sprig of woodbine. Outside the window a man walks quickly away from the house. It is Stephen Poole.

You'll have to forgive me, but neither of these names ring a bell with me, so I am lost as to their significance.

Meanwhile Ben awakes to find himself in a stables

Who is Ben?
One concern I have is that the story merely consists of set pieces without a strong plot holding things together. Of course, this could be because the synopsis you submitted went into detail here and there, making the story seem threadbare. Why is the physic presence trying to destroy them? What do Decavenar and Poole have to do with it? What about the three acorns and woodbine?
Can you give a bit more clarification of the story?
In Jesus,
Lighthope

While normally a cluelessness about Stephen Poole and Ben Chatham would be completely forgotten... they had been in EVERY SINGLE STORY sent to them. Had these purveyors of quality fan entertainment actually FORGOTTEN to read it?

This, coupled with the horror of what Spara could be like if he found out he'd got an actual audio play created, made us call it quits. Apart from anything else, I'd probably end up having to review the bloody thing for this blog!

However, it goes to show that Ben Chatham COULD make it to the big time if anyone was actually prepared to do any work about it.

Something for the kids there.