11/12 - Not Alone/Child of Destruction

2.10 - Not The Nine O'Clock News
2.11 – Child of Instruction.

Returning to modern day Cardiff, Ben and Rose decide to simply stay inside the TARDIS, shagging each other to within an inch of their lives. Then a few games of pool, Andromedan monopoly, and then back onto some more shagging.

Over post-coital cigarettes, Rose idly mentions the time she tried to change history to save her father's life and huge dinosaurs wiped out humanity. But she can laugh about it now.

Rose and Ben finally deign to leave the TARDIS as Ben's highly-tuned senses detect that someone is trying to travel in time. However, he doesn't care and instead decides to visit his old university professor, Bernard Paradox and kill him.

Paradox has just retired to a plush house in Belgravia, one of MANY plush houses in Belgravia. They ring the bell but the door is answered by a man Ben instinctively recognizes as a Physics Professor called Simon Astbrad who promptly faints at the sight of Ben's muscular chest.

Ben decides to break into the house using his shirt... for some reason... and, once inside they luckily overhear Astbrad and Paradox discussing their time machine, which allow them to travel back in time and murder Hitler as a baby and change history.

Paradox vanishes in his time machine and Stream laughs evilly. Ben instantly realizes that Astbrad is, in fact, the Bastard who escaped the Time War by hiding in another dimension but is now dissolving outside of it. The Bastard plans to change history, bring forth the reapers and escape with his life.

Ben looks concerned.

To Be Continued.

Ben and Rose rush to the TARDIS and travel back in time to Austria 1889, Ben fortunately memorizing the co-ordinates from the control screen of the Bastard's machinery.

The time machine lands in a small town and Ben cheerfully explains to the pig-ignorant Rose that Austria is IN Germany. Rose feels a bit jealous of Ben's superior knowledge but turns round and plants a kiss on his rose-petal lips.

Heading for the nearest bierkellar Rose makes a complete fool of herself in front of fat, smelly Germans playing accordions. Luckily for Rose, Ben is on hand to discover that Paradox is heading to the Hitler family home.

Tragically, as Ben is banging on about history, Paradox kills the baby Hitler. Now a COMPETENT madman masterminds the Nazi movement and Paradox vanishes in a puff of logic.

Ben decides to go back in time and strangle Paradox when he was a baby so he won't go back in time and change things. Instead the Bastard sends someone else and things still go pear-shaped.

Using the TARDIS, Ben travels back to the dawn of life on Earth and helps fix a Jaggeroth spaceship and prevents Earth's evolution. Unfortunately, this cancels out everything and Ben is left piloting the TARDIS on his own.

He sobs manfully and takes off his shirt.

The End.